LMAO!!! Open Letter To David Moyes From Manchester United Fan In Nigeria

I'm sitting down here and watching the nigger I just handed N5,000 walk
away, a fruity-arse smile on his black-as-Satan's-heart Yoruba face and a
spring in his hell-bound step. Why I gave him the money, you might ask.
Well, I was stupid enough to bet that my beloved Manchester United will beat
the Lucifer-worshipping, heathen Manchester City team on Sunday. I watched
absolutely gob-smacked, trying to hold in the diarrhea that was threatening
to erupt from the depths of my tortured soul as those closet Nazis ran rings
round our lethargic team and thrashed the piss out of us on that Black
Sunday. And you Sir, you are completely at fault!
We have played 5 league games this season. Congratulations on the 7 points
accumulated so far – abysmal by our standards, but you are coming from
Everton, so we'll let it slide – for now. It must be said that expectations for
your initial weeks were quite low. Being with the fixture list and all (which
you keep whining about); you have done a fair job. That's one way to look at
Another way of looking at this bullshit is your often perplexing team
selections. Please explain to this honoured assembly why you insist on
playing that God-forsaken, knock-kneed modafoka Ashley Young? That idiot
has not made a decent cross since James Ibori was stealing the shit out of
Delta State. The last time he actually dribbled anyone was before the coming
of Christ! That dark-skinned nigga is only suited for holding Van Persie's kit
during games, for Christ's sakes! Drop that fool and give Adnan Januzaj a
run of games! That boy is a breath of fresh air and looks like a far better
player than that idiot Young. What is Antonio Valencia doing on that right
wing? Nigger's so one-legged, even Khalid Boulahrouz can mark him out of a
game in his sleep. Turn that nigga into a right back and get a decent winger
to run riot there and feed RVP and Rooney for the love of Alomo Bitters!
Ehen, why are you even playing Chris Smalling? Yes, his grass to grace story
is inspiring, but isn't it obvious to you that the guy plays with half a brain?
– The other half of that brain is with Phil Jones. The damn boy can't cross
for shit. He can't tackle to save his life, and his marking is jerkier than a two
year old playing FIFA 2014! Then there is Evra. Look, Jesus Navas used him
for training. I know you have a thing against players with tattoos, but Buttner
has actually played well for Manchester United. Fabio as well, or is it Rafael.
Play these boys.
You might not know a lot about Nigeria, although you managed Joseph Yobo
and that fat-arse Yakubu Aiyegbeni. You might want to call them and ask
what jazz means, because I swear to God I will jazz the shit out of you and
your family if you play that imbecilic Danny Welbeck one more time. I don't
know if you have a dark-skin quota to fill in the team so you put Young,
Welbeck and Valencia but you need to stop fielding that mandingo-looking
nigga and start putting Chicharito or Kagawa instead! Welbeck is easily the
worst player in that team and everyone unanimously agrees on that score
except your good self!
Mr Moyes, I don't dodge my girlfriend and pay N100 to watch United games
in Wasiu's viewing center down the road every weekend to be watching the
kind of rubbish you are presiding over. You need to sort this shit out, and
fast. We were tolerant of Baba because he won us a raft of titles in his days.
That privilege hasn't been extended to you yet.
The post is courtesy of Sugar Sport.